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THE “PICK-ME-UP” WHEN WE FAIL

So I was hungry some days ago and I wanted to get a quick snack and some drinks; asked for egg-roll and was told its now N250!!! Like how? Omo! Naso N500 go for just drink and egg-roll. Sad.”

Pick me up

I don’t know if we’ve noticed but there seems to be an actual global recession and downtime; a lot of people believe it’s only here in Nigeria that the hard times are prevalent, others think it’s only in Nigeria that the opportunities to work is scarce which makes living overseas even more appealing. I’m not gonna try and sell the Nigerian dream to anyone (na nightmare now sha but moving on), but I do know that wherever you are, and whatever you find yourself doing, the world seems a much darker place than it used to be and its only gonna get worse.

I was reading the news about the heatwave souring through the United States and something got me thinking, there are scores of people who have to go to work under this heat or they won’t survive, many live on the streets under no shade from the sun and quite a number of people in the US do not have access to clean water.

It would seem that no matter what we do, no matter how hard we work, there seems to be a limit or some boundary we just can never get across to attain the dream or life that we are hoping for. A lot of us work really hard to be able to afford the good life and all it takes is for one brain-dead bus driver to carelessly run the road like it’s his own playground and knock you over, probably rendering you lame, disabled or worse, dead, and all your efforts, all the sacrifices, all the pain, all the faith, everything would be for nothing.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO FAIL

Everyone at some point is gonna fall and gonna fail, they don’t teach you this in school, they don’t tell you how can cope with it or get yourself out of it, most parents don’t make it easier for young people, they have such high expectations for their children and give little to no room for error or mistakes that they pile quite a lot of pressure which often times leads to mistakes, failure or unfulfilled accomplishments.

Sometimes I like to tell myself, “It is okay if things don’t work out the way you planned it to, if life always worked out the way we hoped it to, then life wouldn’t be worth living. Think about it, the mistakes you make help you to learn, the betrayals you face makes you wiser, failures increase your thirst and desire for success and you can never really appreciate plenty in the midst of abundance, it takes a person who has experienced hunger to appreciate plenty and sustain it.

Pick me up

Yet, knowing we’ve failed isn’t something anyone wants to experience, we don’t go into a relationship with someone with the view that we would break up with the partner in the not-so-distant future. Nobody wants to fail, nobody would see a fire and willingly run into it even if it means it will later serve some purpose in your life; and that is why getting back up after falling seems quite a challenge.

We all need a pick-me-up when we fall but in this crazy world we live in, not many of us are that lucky, which makes things so much depressing (I don tire for this adult-life abeg, I no do again)

HOW DO WE GET BACK UP

  1. You must be resilient: Resilience is very important for anyone who truly desires a better life and not a better dream. Resilience is a mindset that sets you apart and helps you get back up quicker than most. It doesn’t get you up but it is the right mentality to have if you truly want to get back on your feet.
  2. Allow yourself to hurt: I can’t stress how important it is to grieve, when experiencing loss or failure of any kind, its very important to grieve the effort you spent trying to make it work, you need to learn how to console yourself for the effort and allow yourself feel the momentary hurt that comes with failure but not to dwell on it. It is in the process of refection that you learn from your mistakes and you devise a better way of making it work. This won’t happen if you don’t give yourself the right credit where it is due.
  3. Pull yourself together: Good! You’ve cried and felt bad for yourself, you don’t have to live in a continual loop of self-pity. You need to get yourself together and the easiest way to do it is to start again. People are afraid to start again, but it’s only those who truly want to get things done, do it the right way. There’s no shame in failure if you can admit you were wrong and there’s no shame in starting over if you can be humble enough to learn to do it better.
  4. Observe, Understand and Act: Most times, the reason why we fail at things its because we aren’t cut out to do those things, or the approach we take isn’t the approach that would lead to the result we’d hope. This is why when we fail, we need to allow ourselves heal and take time out to reflect on what we did wrong. Observe certain patterns and directions of how things play out, try and make findings and get better understanding of things (not just your vain knowledge) and finally, don’t be afraid to act when needed. You will certainly experience progress which in turn will spur you to finish strong.

Everyone’s gonna fail at some point in their lives; it’s a human error that can never be obliterated. However, it’s your choice what you hope to do when you do fail, understand that only you can determine the outlook of your life, you alone have the power to make your life into a story or your life worth emulating.

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